The Void

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Chances are, if you are reading this blog, the void is something that is as familiar to your life as is your given name. You have either met the void in your childhood or adolescence in the form of an unfed, ravaging desire for more or, like most, simply felt the lack of something that has been tearing at you from the inside and out for years or even decades. For you, anxiety and even depression have been things you’ve learned to grow accustom to. And as such, believe it or not, you have molded your life circumstances around the fact. 

Like you and for the majority of people walking the Earth today, the void is present in them at the time of their birth and slowly decays with them alongside their deathbed. When it is asked what the largest source of regret is in a person’s life is, the person concludes that it is the lack of courage in facing the void. Looking back, the person acknowledges the aspect of themselves that at the time, chose stagnation and security rather than following the exact thing that continued to breathe life into them every single day. It was the sole feeling that promised a new tomorrow; the feeling that urged their attention, that beckoned them closer to the unknown. The person admits to not doing so as a result to the fear burdened within. It consumed them.

The fear is a very real one. It could be an observable staple to the human condition. If you were to survey the collective state of mankind, this fear could not be more obvious. It is the epicenter of nearly every individual reality. You see it in the homeless petitioning for a meal, or the girl who starves herself at the consequence of being considered unworthy, or the middle-aged man who feels that even he, cannot risk anything as to appear prideful in the eyes of the family back home. You see it in the youth as by the consequences of student loan, cannot afford rent, or the athlete that stops at nothing to prove his or her own worth to an audience, or the elderly who feel that they too, have somehow failed because they have nothing left to give to this world. In conclusion, it is in fact, everywhere. The fear leads those victims to meet their most tragic fate: the fate of obscurity.

The Fall From Grace

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So then, if this fear could be considered an epidemic, why is there seemingly no conscious awareness to the affair and where did it originate? The answer has and always is centered in childhood. On a much broader level, it was originated at the start of our recorded history and the mark of the Agricultural Revolution. From that point and onwards up until the final decades of the twentieth century, children were seen as a potentially reliable work force. Nothing more, and nothing less. Children were to tend to the crops and the livestock. If not to the crops and the livestock, then to the housing chores of cooking and cleaning. Society and thus, the adults at the time, adopted the philosophy that newborn children were in essence, a blank slate. Parents possessed the attitude that their children lacked valuable experience in the real world and as such, were to be molded by the influence of the adult. This process has now surpassed through the succeeding generations and into the present day where it is still seen as a common practice.

The problem occurs when in this modern day and age, children are no longer perceived to be a work force or at the very least, not a necessary resource to work alongside the adults on the family farm. Human society has advanced technology to the degree that we no longer are subject to mass standardization in labor through the advantages of a postindustrial era. Observably, the parenting and conditioning model being authorized to children is remaining functional while the circumstances during the entirety of human history has been drastically altered. It is not that the process of socialization is in fact, outdated, but it is that the existing model has been proven to be ineffective in a postindustrial setting. 

Due to our present cultural influences, our society lacks the recognition to the possibility that children are born with an innate sense of identity and that children perhaps do have the capacity to not only develop unique personalities, but are intrinsically born with them. However, we can see this in a child’s development when he or she tends to favor or disapprove of one thing over the other; or when even an infant can comparatively discern between what is good and bad to them individually whether that be the favoring of a green-colored toy or a red-colored toy and vice versa. Therefore, we as individuals are born with unique and inherent personalities that are instinctive to our individual nature, regardless of how basic the preferences are.

Society inadvertently and unconsciously disrupts the process of individuation by disallowing the desires of the child and replacing them with what is accepted. For example, if the child wishes to remain awake to read a book, he or she is not to because it is past bedtime. If the child decides to eat cookies instead of oatmeal for breakfast, he or she is to be scolded. If the child attempts to climb a tree, he or she is not to because of the adult’s fear in the risk of falling. When implementing conditions to the child’s freewill, it is almost always through inducing or provoking anxiety-related conditioning. It is referred to as anxiety-related conditioning because it is almost always the case that the parent threatens the child through some form of withdrawal. Withdrawal takes the form of invalidation of what the child is doing and or disregarding the child’s experience completely. This process of withdrawal is not conducive to the child’s well-being by unknowingly removing the individual’s basic human need of validation, or love. In other words, love is not only congruent to, but is in fact a basic human need. This can be proven by the example that if it were the case that an individual is to experience an emotional heartache, whether that be an emotional breakup or a tragedy, the individual refuses to eat and by doing so, neglects his or her own biological makeup.

Perpetually, once a sense of anxiety or insecurity is induced in children, they eventually distrust themselves because they cannot discern between themselves being bad and the actual action of what they are doing to be bad. It is then when the child learns to distrust him or herself is when the child inevitably abandons his or her own individual truth for the sake of replacing it with what has been taught. Thus, adults and even adolescents live dysfunctionally in that they have grown accustom to distrusting themselves to the degree that they fear any thought, feeling, or action that is distinguishable to them on an individual level and almost always choose what is favorable by the group. If not dealt with, the absence of individual integrity and freewill registers in the human body as an all-consuming emptiness, anxiety, and or depression. In other words, an inner void. (This is not an argument whether conditioning is ethical or not, but it is important to acknowledge that conditioning is synonymous with conditions and not freewill).

In an altruistic perspective, we can conclude how this process can lead to an inefficient society, and therefore, a dysfunctional and sometimes chaotic world. In society’s effort to function in the favor of mass consumption and a newly industrialized world, it has implemented institutions such as public education. Public education, for instance, adopted the similar conditioning model that at the time, the present society thoroughly practiced. The teacher identified as being an authority figure and embodied the notion that children did not know better and were to be manufactured as to function within the normalcies of the given society. The system failed immensely in that it failed to recognize a child as a separate individual and not an extension.

Figuratively, we can imagine children as elements. One child can be categorized as gold or copper, the other silver. What the public education system unintentionally did was that it mixed gold with lead, or copper with iron, or silver with steel, and so forth so that collectively, individuals became standardized under one uniform structure. The basic building blocks that made up each element was disrespected and exploited so that only the desirable element could be created through the introduction of another. In other words, the truth and integrity of the individual that was to distinctly define him or her was exchanged for whatever identity was most desirable to the government, society, and or industry at that time.

It is most likely that if you are reading this blog, you were approached with the exact same attitude by the adults in your life as did the previous generations for over two millennia. Whether you are conscious of it or not, you have been subject to, and felt, the inner void. The void that is felt as emptiness and anxiety, antonymous to peace and solace. It can be described as the never-ending itch to somebody’s seemingly picturesque life or the painful reality addicts avert from through drug use or for some, a tool that they use as intrinsic-like fuel for personal growth. Nevertheless, the void can be traced through three distinct psychological reactions that can be used as evidence of the void’s presence.

Therefore, it is our responsibility to not only to become aware of the void inherent within ourselves, but to integrate it if we are to have any hope in finding our true purpose in this life.

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Inception

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The entirety of my life could be summed up by the behavior of seeking: seeking for fulfillment, seeking for purpose, seeking for life. For much of the beginning part of my life, my life in it of itself could not be divided in phases. It was one long continuous phase of impediment. Impediment as in the hindrance of my own desires, the hindrance in attaining any form of success, the hindrance of not knowing what success even was. It was the void of wanting so much in life but not knowing how or where to get it from, let alone knowing what those desires were. I could recount begging to sleep every night, begging for something miraculous to happen to me. And if not miraculous, just something at all. For at the very least, even the fictional characters of my favorite childhood movies were deserving of the inexplicable. 

To my surprise, something inexplicable did happen to me. But it was an event of terror and uncertainty. It was an event that led to years of questioning and the transition of my known reality. It was both troubling and dynamic. One that spiraled me into the negative sphere of grief, depression, and suicidal impressions. The asking of a seemingly millennia of time finally came to fruition. It was the realization of something greater than myself. It was the answer to the void so many of us have attempted to deal with one way or another; whether that is through coping the void through numbness or abuse, or surrendering to it, or most commonly, disconnecting from it entirely.

Therefore, this blog is for those who wish to exit the endless rat race, the game that evidently consumes the lives of most. This blog is for those who have not forgotten the void of dissatisfaction and the feelings of emptiness. For those who have the courage to quit wanting for a different life, and for those to quit living somebody else’s altogether. This blog is for those who wish to stop running from themselves and to instead, embody the role they have always been meant to fulfill in this life. 

A Cold World

pexels-photo-60726.jpegIt is to the general consensus that our history relative to modern day is something not to be celebrated. Some of the most notable men in history are those notorious for heinous, volatile acts distinguishable only by their names. As children, we remain naked and bare, vulnerable and impressionable to the very judgements of our history. We are reminded of the irrevocable, contemptible lives of our ancestors, or the oppression of society centuries ago. The echoes of Hitler and Stalin, or Genghis Khan are imprinted into our young minds. We are reminded that conditions then were unbearable and that we are to be grateful for our delicate luxuries of today. We are taught that it is human nature that is ugly, and cowardly, and bitter. It is to these conditions that we graduate from childhood with the message that the world is cold, so it is in our best interest to become cold with it. That belief inevitably stems outwardly which creates the fertile conditions for the world to be ugly, and cowardly, and bitter. It is then impossible for history to not be condemned to repeating itself.

However, we need to remember that the seemingly frostbitten world is rooted in the transformable nature of belief. It is rooted in the shame inherent in our history and the examples of men centuries ago; not in truth.

To the opposing side of the spectrum, there has been a great many individuals in our history who have embodied what is to be celebrated. Due to life circumstance or abstract thinking, the individual, instead of submitting to the coldness in the world, respond to it. These figures, from Jesus to Ghandi, or Socrates to Einstein, respond to it in such a manner that they are to go into the exact direction of it. Meaning, rather than polarizing from their own suffering, they instead integrate with it. These extremely rare but most notable individuals submit to the coldness inherent in the world within the presence of their own consciousness. They have somehow found a way to mold the feelings present inside the negative to benefit them in a way where it is treated as intrinsic motivation rather than extrinsic motivation. To the courageous few that do so, they become the enlightened thinkers of the world, the inventors, the poets and the artists, the spiritual leaders, and the prominent activists. 

In a plethora of perspectives, the world could be in fact, one coveted by negativity. It is one to be ashamed of, one to be feared. To say that it is easy to find yourself depressed by it is an understatement. The world is cold, so it may just be in your best interest to be cold with it. But it is also true that this is nothing more than perceivable facts birthed by the belief that humanity is unworthy. But to those who are courageous enough to believe the antithesis of that, do not become cold on the basis that the world is also, instead, light it on fire.

 

 

 

The Purpose of Duality

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It is too often we humans underestimate our lives here on Earth. By design, we are forgetful of our true nature. We forget our point of originality and ignore our senses in intuition and feeling. And as a result, we suffer.

Many of the greatest teachers that were once demonstrated to humanity offered our species a new state of consciousness. This consciousness can be described as the “Christ” energy, enlightenment, etc. The energy was to exemplify our potential. It not only transcended positive and negative energies, but embraced them.

In the framework of our concept of linear time, it was in the beginning wherein all things originated. It was a space characterized by oneness. Fear and ignorance were foreign. It was in this space when consciousness had it’s first thought. A desire to know itself. And so in order for consciousness to conceptualize itself, it would need a new energy; an energy that opposes its original consistency of love and union. This new energy was nothing more than the lack of consciousness, the basis of fear and ignorance.

To note furthermore, it is often conceptualized in our minds to separate these opposing energies and categorize them as “good” and “bad.” From an objective point of reference, this is in fact, false. For consciousness, or God, loved the energies of “bad,” because it had allowed it to expand and create more of itself that initially, it could not.

And so “the fall from grace” had occurred (if this were a true statement). Streams of consciousness from the original source, focused themselves through alternate dimensions and unto this one: the third dimension. These source streams of consciousness, otherwise labeled as “souls,” embodied physical form. They had entirely immersed themselves in fear and ignorance to the degree they were forgetful of their true nature. By doing so, we have since created yet another energy: the energy that had created the holy trinity which is described as the “Christ” energy, or the energy of enlightenment. Our collective intention since then has been to embody this energy. For it will be God incarnated.

To embody this energy, we are not to form dark into light, negative into positive, or “bad” into “good.” We are to instead merge these two energies by both discerning and feeling that they are of one of the same. We are not to polarize to either the perpetrator or the victim, but to what underlies them both. It is through releasing trauma and integration, that we may be able to embody our authentic expression. To embody God incarnated.

 

The God Complex

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In this modern day and age, when it comes to existential philosophy, two universal models seem to triumph over all understanding elsewhere. As children, we are proposed these two models by the outside world. One being the ceramic model of the universe in that it depicts a being in the sky controlling life like chess which is urged by the Christian and Islamic religions, to name a few. The other, unlike a given faith, is defined by the guidelines of science and physical tools in which to experiment modern theories. But it is that I propose to be neither.

In a physical human body, there are four necessitative responses. One is that of physical sensations, including sight, touch, taste, etc. The other two, include thought patterns and the emotional responses to those thoughts. The final proponent, is the aspect of ourselves that is aware of those given proponents of our being. It is consciousness. Therefore, God, in its true essence, can simply be defined as pure consciousness.

It is a misunderstanding to refer to God as a “being of light,” or of any significant idol or of any given representation of a thing. God is not a being, but instead, an energy; an energy that which can be felt and registered into the body as “love” and that which is characterized by science as consciousness.

And so in the story of creation, God being pure consciousness, sought to expand itself. Because by doing so, it would self-actualize. In other words, in order to know yourself, you are to be separated from the sum of yourself. You cannot understand the concept of “black” without standing in a space of “white.”

So consequently, energy took the form of atoms, planets, star systems, until eventually it had surpassed the evolution of earth and unto us, human beings. This energy, that has lasted billions and billions of years, now resides in our energetic blueprint. It is who we are.

It is time now, in the modern era to not only remember this about our history, but to forge the path of divinity within ourselves. It is time we consciously realize that our humanity is nothing less than our divinity. We are to be conscious of our boundless connection to the world and to each other. We are to be conscious of our connection with  God. As we are in essence, indivisible from it.