The entirety of my life could be summed up by the behavior of seeking: seeking for fulfillment, seeking for purpose, seeking for life. For much of the beginning part of my life, my life in it of itself could not be divided in phases. It was one long continuous phase of impediment. Impediment as in the hindrance of my own desires, the hindrance in attaining any form of success, the hindrance of not knowing what success even was. It was the void of wanting so much in life but not knowing how or where to get it from, let alone knowing what those desires were. I could recount begging to sleep every night, begging for something miraculous to happen to me. And if not miraculous, just something at all. For at the very least, even the fictional characters of my favorite childhood movies were deserving of the inexplicable.
To my surprise, something inexplicable did happen to me. But it was an event of terror and uncertainty. It was an event that led to years of questioning and the transition of my known reality. It was both troubling and dynamic. One that spiraled me into the negative sphere of grief, depression, and suicidal impressions. The asking of a seemingly millennia of time finally came to fruition. It was the realization of something greater than myself. It was the answer to the void so many of us have attempted to deal with one way or another; whether that is through coping the void through numbness or abuse, or surrendering to it, or most commonly, disconnecting from it entirely.
Therefore, this blog is for those who wish to exit the endless rat race, the game that evidently consumes the lives of most. This blog is for those who have not forgotten the void of dissatisfaction and the feelings of emptiness. For those who have the courage to quit wanting for a different life, and for those to quit living somebody else’s altogether. This blog is for those who wish to stop running from themselves and to instead, embody the role they have always been meant to fulfill in this life.